Archive for category Office Art
Right. In recent months I was offered membership of the Cake Club at work. Every Wednesday a different member brings a cake to work. Then we eat it. Anyone can join if they have been invited and if they supply a cake when it is their turn.
I was excited to join, partly for the weekly sugar surprise and partly because the club seemed straight forward and we had recently had turbulent leadership battles and factional in-fighting in the Vending Machine Club.
However, upon joining cake club, I did hesitate for a TINY, TINY moment, at the thought of whether I could afford to buy a cake every couple of months. But I only hesitated for a MOMENT.
Despite this the Anonymous Artist seems to have felt it necessary to influence European politics to teach me a lesson through art!!
You can imagine my ire when I discovered that Slovakia was going through almost exactly the same dilemma as I had gone through. Around the same time in June, Slovakia was dragging its feet over signing up to a large safety net for EU states that fell upon financial difficulty.
As the EU’s poorest and a relatively new member it was understandably unexcited at the thought of contributing towards a very large and mandatory bailout fund.
Yes, there was a part of me that felt that as a new member of cake club who hadn’t indulged in any cakes yet, I should be allowed to have a few weeks of cake before I was expected to buy one. I had also only just come back to full time shifts so was very low on funds.
On the other hand, Cake Club was a good backup/bailout if you got to a Wednesday and had forgotten to pack a lunch (much like Greece forgot to implement financial reform, leading to their need for bailout/cake).
However I kept all these concerns (that were being mirrored in Slovakia’s hesitations) to myself so HOW had the Anonymous Artist known?
This was most worrying. And, not AS worrying but still quite intriguing; how had the Anonymous Artist managed to gain such an influential role in Slovakian and Eurozone politics so quickly upon learning of my cake club reservations?
Either way the Anonymous Artist has gone too far with their art, in my opinion. And it has got worse…
Since Slovakia’s hesitation Hungary has since been denied a similar rescue plan from the EU and IMF. This was clearly engineered by the Anonymous Artist as a VERY POOR word pun on the words Hungary and hungry in relation to cake (WORDPLAY ALERT!).
The Artist is not just inspiring an audience anymore, they are messing with international politics and the economic prosperity of entire countries!
And above all they are IGNORING the fact that after hesitating for only a moment, I not only bought my first cake for cake club but I bought the above one that was double the price of all others. This was because it could be made to amusingly spell ‘enchante’ which makes it FANCY and FRENCH! I bet Nicholas Sarkozy would be quite happy to negotiate further with Slovakia over austerity measurements being required of Greece if he saw that!
NB: I did consider at first the chance that the Anonymous Artist was influencing the Cake Club to make a statement about EU diplomacy, rather than vice versa… however I am quite sure that the Cake Club could not be infiltrated and its joining policies influenced so easily and quickly.
China could soon overtake Japan as the world’s second largest economy. Full story here
This comes as no surprise to me thanks to the work of the AMAZING anonymous artist at my office, previously exhibited in News ARTicles here and here. This artist had purposefully left soy milk to rot in our fridge to represent Japan (soy loving country) and its decaying politics as the milk was timed to go off just as the Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama was forced to resign.
I had then mistakenly interpreted the new fridge as possibly the new Japanese cabinet of Naoto Kan. However I recently realised it represented the looming economy of China as it began to emerge as a serious contender for Japan’s number 2 position. The growing popularity of the new fridge as it filled up with all manner of lunches and milk for the coffee has mirrored China’s phenomenal growth rates.
Some of the space that was being rapidly filled up, however, was with cakes for employee birthdays or Wednesday Cake Club. This indicated, of course, the centrally planned economy of China and how a great deal of its growth came artificially from government stimulus programs rather than organic business. How would China/the fridge fare once these stimulus measures were unwound/the birthday season died down?
What resulted, we now know, was the worldwide headlines today of the second quarter results that showed a surprise slowing in China’s economy… also the fridge looked markedly bare today. But is this a bad thing? David Cohen and Maya Sen, analysts at Action Economics, said the moderation in GDP growth reflected government efforts to avoid overheating. David clearly understands that an overworked fridge can cause the motor to overheat and break down.
There had been warnings of late that China’s rapid growth needed to pay attention to the lessons of Japan’s economy and avoid a hard fall. Or rather, China’s Premier Wen Jiabao needed to reflect on the fridge that was so successful and so overpacked that nobody had noticed the soy milk sitting at the back and expiring rapidly. Wen seemed uninterested in my email warnings about this but luckily I do not give up that easily. To aid China I took my old tomatoes out of the new fridge and moved the mayonnaise I had put in there to the fridge door. This lessened fridge clutter/economic pressure substantially. I also purchased a FANCY jar of pesto and wholemeal wraps, indicating the recent wage rises and increased standard of living for the Chinese people also affecting economic growth.
So, in conclusion, I think that China’s slow growth announcement today is not only nothing to worry about but is actually good news as the increased space means I can now bring bulk yoghurt packets to work. Well done Chinese finance ministers!
One more point… Richard Fairgrieve of Blackfiars Asset Management said today on Bloombergs Countdown that for investors China still remains a bit risky. He may here be referring to the frozen millk incident but I feel it is my duty, on China’s behalf, to point out that I have since then experienced nothing but exemplary service from the fridge. The only risk I see now is from some ham I ate today that was within expirary and looked delicious but I soon found it smelt funny and was sadly lacking in flavour (just like The Agricultural Bank of China’s highly anticipated listing on the stock exchange yesterday which resulted in disappointing results). However, should this stomach investment reap poor results/salmanella, I feel this cannot all be blamed on the market/fridge and I as an investor/tight-arse-who-won’t-go-out-and-buy-new-meat must be held partly responsible.
NB:: Because of China’s rigid control of media within the country, I was unable to get a photo of the insides of both fridges to show the discrepancies in food layout. I will try again tomorrow to get this insider info.
ANNOUNCEMENT:: Because I’m a soulful artist now I realised I should go to the Glastonbury Festival today. However as I am dedicated to reporting the day’s events, even when I am not there to give a researched or accurate account, I have prepared news reports for the days I am gone.
Using my superior reporting skills and current affairs knowledge thing and words learning and such, I have made precise predictions of what the news will be from Thursday to Tuesday. Then, thanks to the wonders of science and keyboards, I have managed to ‘schedule’ these articles to appear early each day.
In the meantime, please enjoy this update on Japan’s political upheaval.
The situation with Prime Minister Naoto Kan has developed significantly with a replacement fridge being brought in to our work, only to then freeze two bottles of milk over the weekend.This indicates a definite cooling off in voter opinion, confirmed by recent surveys after he floated the idea of raising Japan’s sales tax.
I will keep you abreast(teehee) of any further developments (teehee) in the ongoing soy milk situation/new Japanese government.
For the first time I am featuring an amazing intallation by someone other than me! This is a very thought provoking piece by an anonymous artist. I apologise for the slight delay in the story as I only deciphered its meaning today.
Recently our work fridge developed a foul, awful odour. The culprit was discovered to be some off soy milk whose smell had become imbedded in the fridge. For the next five days we had to hold our breath whenever we approached the area and the entire kitchen had to be cleaned thoroughly.
At first I thought it was merely some careless act by a random idiot who hates cows. That was until I checked the expiry date and realised that the artist must have timed it for the stench to reach its peak the day before Japan’s Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama resigned in early June!
CLEARLY the soy milk represents Japan, a country synonomous with this product. It had been left to rot, pointing to the decay in the Japanese public’s faith in politics after the new Prime Minister failed to honour his promise regarding forcing an American army base to leave Okinawa.
This eventuated in a complete clean out of the fridge and the soy milk/figurehead/Prime Minister was forced to leave. The original food items/Hatoyama cabinet were then put back in the fridge/parliament.
Shannon, Rahul and Hannah, the three employees seated closest to the fridge, represent the Japanese public made to endure the stench of failure emanating from the financial-scandal-dogged government. Rahul was forced to move seats but has returned in the last two days, signalling a warming in opinion from the scandal-weary Japanese voters for new Prime Minister Naota Kan. Interesting times.
NB: Since interpreting this artwork it has been discovered that the milk had also been spilled on the carpet, explaining the length of time the stench has remained. This may mean Kan’s small changes to the cabinet will not be enough and an entirely new government will need to be elected. Only time and some intensive carpet cleaning products will tell.