Archive for category pigeons
The UK Government announced the biggest spending cuts in decades today, marking the beginning of the Age of Austerity (two Ages after the Age when Elves first came to the land).
Inspired by the Government’s calls for the nation to start tightening its belt, I have followed this advice with my own art this week.
Hence I have recycled an old and cheap artwork which I have used several times before. I have also made sure it has several interpretations and meaning, giving it optimum value for money.
So to represent the Prime Minister David Cameron and Chancellor George Osborne’s approach to economic management, I lured some pigeons to a pile of vomit on the pavement (I was unable to make myself sick this time but luckily a passing banker coming down from a giant cocaine binge happened to be ill right at my feet).
Just some of the many meanings the viewer gets for free from this bargain artwork are the following:
The pile of VOMIT is able to represent the following…
- The ‘mess’ that the Coalition claims Labour has left our finances in after a 10 year binge, followed by this purge before passing out in a neighbour’s front door and wetting themselves (I assume).
-The familiar/regurgitated ideology of Thatcherism that is evident in many of these cuts, yet these cuts are even harsher and chunkier then Margaret Thatcher’s (who was coincidentally being ‘ill’ in hospital the day the cuts were announced, probably intentionally trying to add to the metaphor).
- Fears of these cutbacks leading to a double dip recession and returning to the poor ecominic situation we have only just begun to emerge from are as unappealing as returning to a meal you already ate and found so distasteful you threw it up on the pavement.
- How attempts to make the Private Sector absorb the half a million newly unemployed Public Sector workers will result in force feeding a full sector until the redundant workers are rejected and regurgitated onto the hard pavement of the welfare system.
-How George Osborne sometimes looks like a pile of vomit.
-The happy, waddling British public who rather than get angry and riot like the French are currently doing are happy to potter about and eat whatever scraps are left for them on the pavement or run in front of people awkwardly rather then just flying to the side, even though it’s CLEAR that you’re walking in a straight line towards them.
-The Blitz spirit. These pigeons/the British public understand that times are tough and so will be happy to make do with rationing/vomit. The pigeons that represent the British public will probably then be actually cooked by a British mother embracing the Blitz spirit and feeding her human children this poor meat/British public metaphor, indicating the class system in all its horror somehow.
- There are widespread accusations that these cuts are going to hit the poorest in society hardest and who is worse off then homeless, unemployed pigeons with little to no chance of getting into a good university?… Otters?
-Also the pigeons are here behaving as vagrants who aren’t being shooed away because drastic cuts to police funding will mean fewer frontline officers to deal with pettier crimes such as vagrancy or eating vomit.
- How Osborne and Cameron sometimes look like waddling pigeons.
So it is my sincere hope that once we become more accustomed to the new austerity measures, we will soon be as content, nay, ecstatic, as pigeons eating from a pile of vomit. God willing.
FINALLY yesterday I got some funding from an anonymous donor (he was so shy and modest about helping the Arts that he masked his face while I signed the agreement to exchange two of my kidneys for a cash donation to my ARTworks- apparently you can survive with just the third kidney).
So I am happy to announce that there is no longer any need to rely on the ‘pigeons eating vomit’ performance art pieces of the last three days!! Sorry!
However, having learned my lesson of the need to pay attention to costs, I decided today to focus on a random and tiny local issue, to save money and avoid overstepping my budget again.
A completely random search of the world’s local papers came up with this tiny, barely noticed tale from Buckinghamshire in England…
Two days ago angry residents complained to Wycombe District Council chiefs over plans to cull pigeons in High Wycombe town centre. Councillor Clive Harriss said the move would ‘reduce the accumulation of faeces in the town centre, which can be a danger to human health’.
Ellen Wise asked the council to install a Dovecote, a home for pigeons, and offered to clean it ‘for a very small sum’. Councillor Harriss said buildings would be ‘infested’ with pigeons. Full story here
This story about pigeon murder made me ill. So ill I could throw up! I needed to express this nausea in art. But how? I wracked my brains for some way to represent this pigeon story that made me feel so physically sick.
All of a sudden, like a bolt of lightning or a surprise vomit on a pavement, it hit me! I realised the sculpture idea was STARING ME IN THE FACE, RIGHT THERE ON THE SCREEN.
For you see I had been researching the mythological Roman goddess Libertas. I realised if any form embodied these pigeons’ struggle it was she/her. She has always represented liberty and freedom and as I read of these attempts to not only control the population of these pigeons through mass murder but even to control their faeces output I realised this was a struggle for freedom on an epic scale.
Remembering I now have a budget to consider, I kept things simple. I made this 151 foot tall statue of Libertas out of a sheathing of pure copper, hung on a framework of steel on top of a rectangular stonework pedestal. I erected it in High Wycombe, just outside the generous Ellen Wise’s house, as a beacon for the pigeons to flock to. I inscribed the tablet Libertas holds with a welcoming poem for the pigeons to read, in case they were unsure as to whether they were welcome (I know what you’re thinking, how will they read it? Well you’re adorably forgetting that pigeons can fly so they can land on the tablet easily).
The poem reads:
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
The ‘tired and poor’ are clearly the pigeons, as they get tired from the constant waddling and they have no set minimum wage laws. The ‘refuse’ reference clearly directs the pigeons to poo wherever they want. The lamp she holds signifies lamps because pigeons are attracted to light. She also tramples a broken chain, representing the chain those council mayors often wear and their attempts to cull and cage the pigeons.
I have left the statue there in the hope that those jerks at City Hall see the message of acceptance and love that could be offered to these visiting friends, rather than treating them as little better than animals with such words as ‘infested’ and… ‘pigeons’! For shame Councillor Harriss! For shame!
The artist formerly known as Nostradamus has released his latest album in CD format only, coming as a free give away with those paper versions of newspaper websites that people hold on the train when they can’t get any internet signal on their phone. Prince said ‘the internet is completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes.’ Full story in the Telegraph here
This news obviously foreshadows great change for the world, and much more importantly, for me. As someone who has only just begun to use the internet to showcase my amazing art, I am very sad to hear the internet is over. Frankly I would have appreciated a bit more warning from Prince and now I feel like a bit of a goose.
I wanted to represent Prince’s important news for us with a beautiful sculpture of him but I then read rumours that in 2007 he banned fan sites from using images of him. Apparently he then denied this and said it was only in regards to trademark of images, however I don’t want to risk getting into copywright trouble as I am always VERY careful with my art concerning copywright and ownership issues.
To represent Prince’s news and album release, I have regurgitated on this pavement. I then lured these pigeons over.
For centuries carrier pigeons have been used as vital messengers, especially when technology was not able to do this for us. Just like Prince, these pigeons bring important messages and hiptoplasmosis. In this artwork they are drawing our attention to the vomit, just like Prince is bringing up the issue of CDs, a technology that was served up, enjoyed and digested years ago. A technology that should really be left as a distant memory of a hearty meal but instead Prince is shoving two fingers up at the World Wide Web and then putting them down our collective throat until our gag reflex/nostalgia for a past era reacts.
Also the pigeons tried to talk to me about becoming a Jehova’s Witness.
I was also going to do a review of his CD but all the shops where those weird, human-shaped, talking internet shopping cart things sell the CDs near me have shut down and I can’t venture too far from my flat anymore as I am completely dependent on the internet and morbidly obese, fed by online supermarket deliveries and sexually serviced by Chat Roulette sessions and a Japanese robot sex toy I got free with some credit card points.
I decided to instead revisit some of his past work but sadly my iTunes is not syncing with my iPhone and after trying to get it working for the last two hours I have started weeping too much to see the keyboard.