Archive for category Religion
Terry Jones, the pastor of the World Dove Outreach Centre, has attempted to emulate the peaceful nature of their bird namesake by threatening a good ol book burning of copies of the Quran.
It is terrible when a tiny, radical minority claims to represent the more caring and considerate majority from whom they are actually worlds apart .
I am talking of course, about idiots. There are so many idiots in the world who mind their own business or promote love and tolerance but sadly this one idiot has now managed to give ALL idiots a bad name.
When I heard the initial reports of his plans to burn copies of the Quran I thought, ‘Where’s the fire? This is just some stupid man with no followers who clearly doesn’t represent Americans or Christians and has just managed to time his threats poignantly enough to get far too much news coverage. If we pay any attention to him we’re just adding fuel to the fire in debate over the Ground Zero Mosque which frankly is already a hot enough topic’.
When I next heard that there were also plans by some Muslims to counter his Quran burning with their own American flag burning I thought, ‘Enough is enough. They are fanning the flames of misunderstanding and this kind of anger is going to spread like wild fire’.
I then thought, ‘what an articulate inner monologue I’m having today, usually it’s just a string of emotions and images of food I might like to eat that day’.
I soon decided it was time to fight fire with fire. Hence I went around looking for something I could burn to help the situation.
Unfortuantely I fell asleep during the movie Backdraft so my knowledge on the mechanics of fire are limited and hence I am unsure on ways to technically ‘fight fire with fire’. I think it may require summoning Captain Planet but I’m not into witchcraft.
I also didn’t want to inflame the situation myself, or get caught in the line of fire of more angry fundamentalists. ‘Why can’t we all just get on like a house on fire?’ I wondered.
Other thoughts that crossed my mind in this short period included the phrases ‘baptism of fire’, ‘ball of fire’, ‘light a fire under’, ‘miss fire’, ‘no smoke without fire’, out of the frying pan into the fire’, ‘trial by fire’, and how the show Grace Under Fire was really really shit.
So finally, in response to this man’s religious intolerance and the potential for the whole situation to go up in flames, I have made this sculpture of a fireman.
He is a metaphor for the need for someone or something to extinguish a very real and very dangerous threat. I am referring, of course, to my overuse of WORDPLAY concerning fire which has made me so excited there is now a fire in my pants.
NB: The fireman could also be sent to put out all the fires of misunderstanding and hatred and carry the screaming woman known as Social Harmony from the third storey bedroom window of Globalisation. But inappropriate fire puns are the more immediate issue here I believe.
The Pope has again done his bit for world peace by seeming to compare the possibility of women priests to child abuse. The Vatican has deemed both to be ‘graviora delicta’(or ‘delicious gravy’ if my Latin still serves me, or if I indeed ever did learn Latin).
Since the uproar this caused the church has clarified that they didn’t intend to equate attempted ordination of women priests to paedophilia (awww, that’s really sweet of them to say! I think this amended statement would look nicer on one of those inspirational posters (the ones usually called ‘truth’ or ‘beauty’) with a photo of a beach or a little flower above the words ‘we do not equate the attempted ordination of women to paedophilia’).
However this does not address the real issue which is still the Church’s stance against women priests and how it COMPLETELY conflicts with the Bible’s teaching.
I am referring, of course, to the recently discovered GOSPEL OF DAN BROWN, which states, through the now translated Code of Davinci, that Jesus was pro having women in his posse and even (WARNING, GOSPEL SPOILER ALERT!!) totally had kids with one!
It also revealed the 11th commandment which was something to do with mullets on Tom Hanks being a Delicious Gravy of a sin.
The fact that the new Pope can still deny this fact about the position of women in the church is LUDICROUS when you consider that Dan Brown gospel sales in 2004 were only outsold by that other religious gospel about the prophet Harry Potter.
I decided to let my feelings on this be known through, surprisingly, art. I arranged for this man to drive around London in this street sweeper. When people asked him what he was doing he was to tell them he was ‘attempting to sweep up the lies and hypocricy of the Catholic Church’! Take that Ratzinger!…
Sadly I discovered that almost NO ONE ever stops a street sweeper to ask them what they are doing, though I know I regularly do! Very disappointing. I suspect a papal conspiracy.
Here also is my suggested inspirational poster for the Church’s amended statement. Very sweet I think.
‘Two Russian museum curators have been fined for showing a painting of Jesus Christ with Mickey Mouse’s head. Critics said the case harked back to Soviet censorship and underlined the Russian Orthodox Church’s growing power’ – The Telegraph
This news made me feel so appreciative to live in a democratic society that values free speech and allows my art to express any ideas I’ve had so far, be they offensive or shocking or inane or stupid. But after pondering further it soon made me sad. It is so much harder for artists like myself to push boundaries and shock the world when we aren’t blessed with governments more heavily influenced by extreme factions of religion or politics. I decided to test how far I could take things in our depressingly permissive society. It was going to require some pretty shocking and offensive attacks of icons and ideals we have always held dear.
Here I have chosen to sculpt imagery of one of the most revered and worshipped historical figures in our society. The piece is called ‘Madonna and child’ and as you can see it is Madonna (or Madge as she may now still be calling herself) with one of her recently, controversially adopted children.
So far no boundary smashing, though I can feel you’re nervous. And wait, look closer and you see that, just like those Russian artists did with Jesus and Mickey, I have depicted her quite differently to the usual way we know and love… I have actually used absolutely no photo touch up, flattering lighting or make up whatsoever! Also she is in baggy clothing and isn’t even doing pilates in this picture!
Continuing with the theme of religious censorship, I have depicted Madonna about to go on stage and perform her famous and controversial song ‘Like a Prayer’ and these three men are wisely begging with her, saying, ‘please, please, Madonna, please stop wearing leotards on stage’. Madonna is about to ignore them and strip down to her leotard because she is also an artist who likes to shock our senses (and stomachs if we’ve just eaten), just like me and the Russians.
This might surprise/upset some of you but I am not a psychic octopus. Hence I do not know who will win the World Cup and had to work around this as I began constructing my artworks BEFORE the final results…
News Art – PAUL EXPOSED AS FALSE PROPHET!
Paul the Octopus was wrong. Spain has lost. All talk of his psychic, almost god-like abilities has been proven meaningless.
But it is far worse than that, it has embarrassed a world who embraced the possibility that this Octopus had other worldly powers. It has shown how incredibly desperate we remain to have some kind of order to this chaos that is life. Despite all our advances in science and evolution and iPhone apps over the years, the moment we see some evidence of possible magical or religious powers we jump at it. And so we put our faith in a sea creature that was too stupid to not be charging huge amounts of cash for his ‘psychic’ predictions.
Is this the behaviour of rational adults? To worship these false idols?!
To MOCK this behaviour I made this golden statue of a random animal. I then put it up on a street in London and asked people if they wanted to worship this elephant and trust its opinion on great sporting events. They all said no. Some even laughed.
However I then surprised them and challenged their perception of the world by asking how this elephant was in any way different to an octopus. I was told that instead of four legs octopuses have eight arms (or tentacles) and can swim very fast. This was most interesting! I researched more about octopuses and found out that they have no internal shell or bones and have a hard beak!?! I began devouring books on octopuses and found, to my surprise, that this is a very poor way to learn anything so I soon switched back to reading.
After several hours of this ‘reading’ I concluded that octopuses/octopussi are awesome, elephants are average and man is a foolish creature who will not only seek evidence of the divine at every opportunity merely to comfort him from his fear of death and the unknown, but also only has two arms and can’t even squirt black ink as a defence mechanism. LAME!
ARTWORK OPTION B- PAUL IS OUR NEW GOD!!!
Paul was right! Spain has won! All hail Paul!!
I have made this sculpture of the child I would be willing to have with Paul to honour his extraordinary powers. It’s half human (me) half octopus (Paul). I apologise for the slight lack of focus, I was so excited at the prospect of becoming Paul’s first earthly concubine and giving birth to a demi-god with tentacle legs that my hands would not stop shaking. Wouldn’t be a problem with tentacles!!
British schools have been accused of failing to educate children in Christianity while paying special attention to children of other faiths. The inspectorate Ofsted says there has been a sharp decline in the quality of religious teaching over the past three years. – from The Times
I wanted to help schools teach more religion in general and so I made this Art Trap for any school that wishes to use it. The church represents churches which represent religion. Its bright colours attract children, just like the conversely black and white teachings of religion attract their young minds.
When the child steps within the cut out area, the red church snaps down, trapping the child underneath. They remain there until they are about 15 and better able to form their own opinions and beliefs and also have the upper body strength to lift the heavy fibreglass off them.
The British Foreign Office has had to apologize after a memo appearing to ridicule Roman Catholic teaching was leaked to the Sunday Telegraph. The document suggested the Pope might open an abortion ward and launch his own brand of condoms during his upcoming visit to the UK.
ARTWORK: ‘He’s not the Messiah…’
This news displays perfectly the constant battle between religion and humour. I chose to represent this war with this full scale tank I made out of cast iron.
It represents the indomitable British sarcasm and love of innuendo, battling against forces larger than itself yet somehow managing to remain strong. I gave it its unique name in reference to the need for Britain to remain steadfast in pushing the boundaries of taste with smutty jokes.