Posts Tagged Japan
This morning I arrived at work to find a terrible smell coming from off milk in the work fridge which, as we now know, directly represents the current state of Japanese politics.
I quickly checked the papers and sure enough, the Anonymous Artist had once again impressively predicted important diplomatic rumblings in Eastern Asia.
A giant row has erupted between Russia and Japan after Russian President Medvedev visited a chain of Pacific Islands. The Japanese insist they were stolen by Moscow 70 years ago after, after World War II. Full story here
Since the break up of the Soviet Union no Russian leader has visited the diplomatic-nightmare territory. Until Medvedev now ignored Japan’s pleas to stay away and did just that.
And of course it has erupted in a foul, political mess that will once again cause a stink throughout all of Japanese politics.
This exact series of events was clearly reflected in how we all pleaded with Joel not to open the old milk at the back of the fridge. Everyone knew it was the reason for the odour, even if there wasn’t official agreement on the matter, but Joel insisted on blundering on in regardless and dredging up the past/rotting milk.
This is a fairly straightforward and repetitive analogy from the Anonymous Artist again but they did have to correctly time the milk going off with when they guessed Medvedev would want to make a firm statement on Russia’s position in Asia. And they had to guess that Joel would want to eat Weetabix this morning when he is usually a orange juice and breakfast bar type guy.
So taking all these factors into account, it is good to see the Anonymous Artist once again focusing on Asian economic relations and territorial disputes while still giving us a simpler problem of contained off cow milk rather than soy milk ingrained in the carpet/Japanese parliament.
China could soon overtake Japan as the world’s second largest economy. Full story here
This comes as no surprise to me thanks to the work of the AMAZING anonymous artist at my office, previously exhibited in News ARTicles here and here. This artist had purposefully left soy milk to rot in our fridge to represent Japan (soy loving country) and its decaying politics as the milk was timed to go off just as the Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama was forced to resign.
I had then mistakenly interpreted the new fridge as possibly the new Japanese cabinet of Naoto Kan. However I recently realised it represented the looming economy of China as it began to emerge as a serious contender for Japan’s number 2 position. The growing popularity of the new fridge as it filled up with all manner of lunches and milk for the coffee has mirrored China’s phenomenal growth rates.
Some of the space that was being rapidly filled up, however, was with cakes for employee birthdays or Wednesday Cake Club. This indicated, of course, the centrally planned economy of China and how a great deal of its growth came artificially from government stimulus programs rather than organic business. How would China/the fridge fare once these stimulus measures were unwound/the birthday season died down?
What resulted, we now know, was the worldwide headlines today of the second quarter results that showed a surprise slowing in China’s economy… also the fridge looked markedly bare today. But is this a bad thing? David Cohen and Maya Sen, analysts at Action Economics, said the moderation in GDP growth reflected government efforts to avoid overheating. David clearly understands that an overworked fridge can cause the motor to overheat and break down.
There had been warnings of late that China’s rapid growth needed to pay attention to the lessons of Japan’s economy and avoid a hard fall. Or rather, China’s Premier Wen Jiabao needed to reflect on the fridge that was so successful and so overpacked that nobody had noticed the soy milk sitting at the back and expiring rapidly. Wen seemed uninterested in my email warnings about this but luckily I do not give up that easily. To aid China I took my old tomatoes out of the new fridge and moved the mayonnaise I had put in there to the fridge door. This lessened fridge clutter/economic pressure substantially. I also purchased a FANCY jar of pesto and wholemeal wraps, indicating the recent wage rises and increased standard of living for the Chinese people also affecting economic growth.
So, in conclusion, I think that China’s slow growth announcement today is not only nothing to worry about but is actually good news as the increased space means I can now bring bulk yoghurt packets to work. Well done Chinese finance ministers!
One more point… Richard Fairgrieve of Blackfiars Asset Management said today on Bloombergs Countdown that for investors China still remains a bit risky. He may here be referring to the frozen millk incident but I feel it is my duty, on China’s behalf, to point out that I have since then experienced nothing but exemplary service from the fridge. The only risk I see now is from some ham I ate today that was within expirary and looked delicious but I soon found it smelt funny and was sadly lacking in flavour (just like The Agricultural Bank of China’s highly anticipated listing on the stock exchange yesterday which resulted in disappointing results). However, should this stomach investment reap poor results/salmanella, I feel this cannot all be blamed on the market/fridge and I as an investor/tight-arse-who-won’t-go-out-and-buy-new-meat must be held partly responsible.
NB:: Because of China’s rigid control of media within the country, I was unable to get a photo of the insides of both fridges to show the discrepancies in food layout. I will try again tomorrow to get this insider info.
ANNOUNCEMENT:: Because I’m a soulful artist now I realised I should go to the Glastonbury Festival today. However as I am dedicated to reporting the day’s events, even when I am not there to give a researched or accurate account, I have prepared news reports for the days I am gone.
Using my superior reporting skills and current affairs knowledge thing and words learning and such, I have made precise predictions of what the news will be from Thursday to Tuesday. Then, thanks to the wonders of science and keyboards, I have managed to ‘schedule’ these articles to appear early each day.
In the meantime, please enjoy this update on Japan’s political upheaval.
The situation with Prime Minister Naoto Kan has developed significantly with a replacement fridge being brought in to our work, only to then freeze two bottles of milk over the weekend.This indicates a definite cooling off in voter opinion, confirmed by recent surveys after he floated the idea of raising Japan’s sales tax.
I will keep you abreast(teehee) of any further developments (teehee) in the ongoing soy milk situation/new Japanese government.
For the first time I am featuring an amazing intallation by someone other than me! This is a very thought provoking piece by an anonymous artist. I apologise for the slight delay in the story as I only deciphered its meaning today.
Recently our work fridge developed a foul, awful odour. The culprit was discovered to be some off soy milk whose smell had become imbedded in the fridge. For the next five days we had to hold our breath whenever we approached the area and the entire kitchen had to be cleaned thoroughly.
At first I thought it was merely some careless act by a random idiot who hates cows. That was until I checked the expiry date and realised that the artist must have timed it for the stench to reach its peak the day before Japan’s Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama resigned in early June!
CLEARLY the soy milk represents Japan, a country synonomous with this product. It had been left to rot, pointing to the decay in the Japanese public’s faith in politics after the new Prime Minister failed to honour his promise regarding forcing an American army base to leave Okinawa.
This eventuated in a complete clean out of the fridge and the soy milk/figurehead/Prime Minister was forced to leave. The original food items/Hatoyama cabinet were then put back in the fridge/parliament.
Shannon, Rahul and Hannah, the three employees seated closest to the fridge, represent the Japanese public made to endure the stench of failure emanating from the financial-scandal-dogged government. Rahul was forced to move seats but has returned in the last two days, signalling a warming in opinion from the scandal-weary Japanese voters for new Prime Minister Naota Kan. Interesting times.
NB: Since interpreting this artwork it has been discovered that the milk had also been spilled on the carpet, explaining the length of time the stench has remained. This may mean Kan’s small changes to the cabinet will not be enough and an entirely new government will need to be elected. Only time and some intensive carpet cleaning products will tell.