Unfortunately BP didn’t respond to my plea for corporate funding yesterday and so I was left still penniless for today’s news ARTicle. However, by a stroke of luck, yesterday’s artwork happens to also apply perfectly to today’s topic of the new Twilight film, Eclipse, so I have managed to reuse it (in the spirit of recession and cost cutting measures).

I have represented the three Twilight films released so far by regurgitating by the side of the road again. This was to lure these two cute pigeons. I feel they portray beautifully the sweet, sweet tale of Bella and Edward.

New Twilight film performs well at box office

These two love birds (pigeons mate for life) are here clearly enthralled with one another (you can’t see in this photo but the pigeons were only capable of two expressions; sighing heavily with pained, furrowed brow and sighing louder with more furrowed brow. This vaste range of emotions proves their angsty and not-at-all-dull love for each other).

They enjoy this angsty, lacking-in-any-signs-of-laughter-or-actual-fun love while they sit on the side of life’s highway, watching time whizz by too quickly (and occasionally getting too close to its wheels) as they talk ad nauseum about the virginity of one of the pigeons and unsubtley promote abstinence to teenagers. While they do this they feast happily together on a regurgitated cocktail of plots, themes and characters from more layered and imaginative vampire stories of old. I call this ‘Two Pigeons Eat Vomit While Crowds of Teenagers Faint From Arousal’.

I hope to have heard from BP or a similar corporate sponsor in time to fund a grander artwork tomorrow.